i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think your dad took our porno
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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