kristin has been a bad kristin
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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