When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so let's talk penis.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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