Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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