i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
