just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize