I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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