well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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