I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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