If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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