wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
