Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
