Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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