I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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