Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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