it wasn't lemon gatorade
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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