I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My life is pants optional.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
