I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
