so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
