My brain says no but my pants say off.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
