Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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