Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I believe in your delicious
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
