Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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