He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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