That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
