Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
