You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
