He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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