Welp...herpes.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
