shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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