so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So much rum. So many feels.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
