Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
