She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
