i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
