I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
