It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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