I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
