is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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