i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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