You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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