My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She announced her abortion via fbk
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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