Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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