Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize