How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
