It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
