who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
