he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
