Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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