There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
