So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
