no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
