i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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