THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
