Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
