party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
