This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
please don't ironically join a cult
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