Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
