I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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