she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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