i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize