it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
